room at our table

Tonight at dinner, Owen looked around the table and asked, "where is babyu?" Andy explained that he is in Africa and that we would go see him soon. Then Owen looked again at the table and said, "we need another chair. a chair for babyu!" Sweet boy-he pointed to where he wanted him to sit...right between me and him. so cute!

I pray as we welcome another babe into our home, we would 
always have room at our table. in our house. and in our hearts.

Always.

Love is winning

Check this out...Light Gives Heat has a new movie: moving on...it is going to be good.

just a glimpse

Tonight I had the privilege of watching my good friend's son while her and the husband went out on a much needed date night. All night long I couldn't help but wonder about babyu. You see, it is a good possibility that our baby will be fairly close in age to Noah so it was such a blessing to hug, hold and play with a sweet boy just a few months older than our child (we are speculating age by what our US approval states). I had such a sweet time with him and couldn't help but wonder if they have some of the same mannerisms.

Noah was giggling like crazy as I was feeding him dinner.

When I tried to feed him a kiwi and banana mixture (sick, I know:) he would wrinkle up his nose and get this disgusted look on his face.

Everytime he sneezed he would laugh uncontrollably.

When he got super excited, he would wave his hands and wriggle his fingers in all different directions.

and when he got tired, he would lay his head on my shoulder and nestle in. Oh how tonight was so good for my heart. I cannot wait to meet this little person God has been preparing us for. I can't wait to learn his many faces, his different voices, his giggles, his belly laughs, the way his toes fit together and the way his hand feels in mine. I long to meet this sweet one.

Thanks D for making this wait a little more bearable by letting me love on your son tonight. It was so precious. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of what my nights will look like in a few months.

Tonight my friends, my heart is happy.

World Cup, South Africa

Andy just informed me that Babyu is up and waiting for the first game. Oh if babyu only knew how much his daddy loves soccer, he might actually be waiting:)

"If YOU think you are TOO small...

...to make a DIFFERENCE, you've NEVER spent the night with A mosquito." --Betty Reese

dare to believe.

this is a season of waiting for our family and for so many of our friends. while we are waiting for our referral, we have friends who are waiting *patiently* for court dates...friends who are ready to travel to meet/pick up their sweet children and can't until they get word...friends who are also expecting referrals...and friends who are longing to carry a sweet child in their womb. for all of these situations, it is my prayer that we wait together, carry eachother and hope for one another.

*Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.* Galations 6:9


God is moving... working on our behalf. four (yes FOUR!) families have been united on US soil THIS week.

the harvest is coming friends.

know that we are waiting with you. hoping with you.

the joy is coming.

not about me

this life is not about me. not about my wants. not about my own agenda. and certainly not about my timeline. i have been so convicted about this the past few days. i want to live for others. i want to love others above myself and sometimes that means getting over myself. i have many blogs that i follow and feel so encouraged by the women i "follow" :)

i read this one at the beginning of this week from goodtobecrazy.blogspot.com and it struck a cord...

**************************

I spent a lot of time lying awake last night. My baby, who is normally a great sleeper, started crying around 2:30am. She promptly put her little self right back to sleep but her cry had jolted me wide awake and I found myself lying in bed having the following conversation with the Lord...

Me: "Lord, please help me go back to sleep." 5 minutes go by. "Lord, please." 30 minutes go by. "Lord, PLEASE!!!" I have to get back to sleep. I will be exhausted tomorrow. My husband is in Uganda for crying out loud and I have two young children and a baby to take care of alone. Furthermore, I have all kinds of stuff to do tomorrow... I have to take my 4 year old to gymnastics, I have to drive afternoon carpool for Madeline, I even need to give Davis a couple of breathing treatments because he sounds congested. With all of these overwhelming tasks on my plate Lord, could you please, please help me out here??"

Lord: "Shelly, let me ask you a few questions... First, are you comfortable right now?"
Me: "I guess so. I wish I wasn't awake at 3:15am but I am laying on a $5000 tempurpedic mattress and covered by some cozy sheets and blankets."

Lord: "You said you have a lot to do tomorrow. How much of it did I ordain? Did I specifically call you to sign your 4 year old up for a gymnastics class?"
?

(go here to read the rest!)
*********************************

i want to acknowledge that my days are ordained by god. i want to live for him and not by my own agenda. i want my kids to realize that we are not supposed to be comfortable in this life because it isn't forever. i want them to learn this from me...by my example. and that would mean that i need to get over myself. this life is not about me.

hope is...

...the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled. I have to be honest. I have felt a little down the past couple of days. I haven't lost hope completely but I think my hope was lacking. I was hoping for something that didn't happen just yet. you see, there have been a few different circumstances that led me to believe that we MIGHT would be getting our referral sooner rather than later (like last week sooner).

*this whole thing is so silly because with international adoption and probably all adoptions, you can't really count on anything until it actually happens*

It obviously wasn't anything concrete because as of tonight, we still don't have a referral. We haven't even been waiting a month so I officially am bad at waiting:) I was a little bummed at the end of last week but my brother and sister in law came to visit so it was a great distraction. Then on Monday night, I was getting excited again thinking this week could be it. But then Tuesday came and went and I was sad. I had a really great day with o-boy but I didn't really want to talk with anyone else.

It is funny because a referral is kind of like a due date (at least waiting for a referral). When o's due date came and went, I thought "I can do this"...until everyone started calling.... everyone I talked to asked if I was in labor yet. Well obviously not folks or else I wouldn't be on the phone:) and really, if I had o already, they would have known. Now that I am thinking this through, I think that is why I didn't really want to talk to anyone on Tuesday. It was bound to come up and I just didn't want to talk about it. I must say though that I did get quite a few emails encouraging emails. I so appreciated those!

I have spent a lot of time praying about this over the past few days because I don't want to be sad and I certainly don't want to lose hope. (sidenote: my husband is so calm about the whole thing---he is so excited to get our referral and waiting eagerly but he knows it will come at exactly the right time.) I know this as well but just today, I feel complete peace. We trust in a God who knows exactly who our sweet one is and exactly where he/she is. It doesn't really matter when I get the referral (although it would be nice to get it soon:) because God has already orchestrated the whole thing. I am so thankful that God includes us in His plan.

So for today, I am still hoping and eagerly waiting to see my sweet babe's picture.

"Mommy is that..???"

Wearing a Simply Love shirt yesterday similiar to the one above...O-boy asked, "mommy is that Africa on your shirt??" pointing to the back. I started tearing up. I love that this adoption will forever change all of us..even our 2.5 year old.

Visas!

Visas are being issued again!!! Seriously. Families are beginning to come home after months of waiting. Things are happening again! Go here for all the details.

Thankful today for God's perfect timing.

***Pizza Mizza***

Come eat at Pizza Mizza this Saturday (May 22) and we will get a portion of the proceeds. Just say our last name at the time you pay and they will be sure to mark the ticket.

***Thanks for your continued efforts to help us get our sweet babyu home. We really can't imagine walking this road without you!***

think about this

Redeeming Silent Souls - Conference Trailer from Joseph Horsefjord on Vimeo.

letter from the SD

We received a letter from the State Department today, informing us that our petition and approval has been sent to the appropriate embassy in country. YES!

This. is. really happening. Love it!

thinking of my baby's mama

as we come upon this Mother's Day, I can't help but think of babyu's mama. I sit here on my cozy couch in my home and I can't help but think of our child's birth mother. I have tears in my eyes as I think of what she has been through, what she has encountered, what she has experienced to get to the point she is today. I am trying to imagine how she is feeling today and honestly, I can't. I can't pretend that I know the pain she feels when she thinks about sweet babyu. How she feels when she wants to touch his skin..when she wants to kiss him goodnight...or when she just wants to watch him sleep but she can't because of certain life circumstances that has gotten her to where she is today. I can't imagine the pain. The sorrow. It has got to ache deep in her heart.

I can however, tell you that I am forever grateful for the love she has for her child. A love that is so strong that she would overlook her wants and dreams and put her child's life before her own. Love like that is amazing and inspiring but also tragic. As we get closer to meeting babyu, I have so many mixed emotions. We see it as this wonderful blessing (it is, don't get me wrong) but we also realize that our sweet one has been through the trenches to get to us. In order for us to adopt babyu, it means that somewhere along the road, his/her sweet mother and father had to make really tough choices. Choices that would tear me apart. They have had to experience a crazy deal of tragedy, pain and loss.

Adoption is a journey. A sticky, messy journey. While I am thankful for this journey we are on, it is hard. So hard because while I am happy (thrilled!) about the progress that we have made in the last month, I am also heart broken thinking about babyu's mama. Nobody should ever have to go through what she is has been through.

******

God, I pray that you would wrap your arms around babyu's mama tonight. May she feel your love and peace. May she know that you are holding babyu tight until I can wrap my arms around that sweet bean.

*DREAM come true*

if someone would have told me the first time I travel to Africa it would be to pick up our child, I would have thought they were out of their mind! And now this is our reality. I love it! I have always dreamed of visiting Africa (let's be honest, I would love to LIVE in Africa!) but I never imagined we would be meeting our sweet one on our first trip. I was walking with a friend yesterday and she pointed out that we are not only adopting from this amazing country but also traveling to Africa for the first time AND living in the country for 6-10 weeks (yes, it might be 10 weeks with recent news..praying it's not--((well some of us are;) or aren't;))) Amazing! All of these things happening so soon. Hopefully sometime in the fall!! Some might be turned away due to the time we have to spend in country but I count it as a blessing. Some might think of it as an inconvenience but I think of it as a great gift. Some might let it get them down but I see it as a dream come true!

We cannot wait to board the plane to go meet our little one! O is so excited, he thinks every plane in the sky is headed to Africa (or Haiti:) We cannot wait to smell the sweet (polluted) air! We cannot wait to spend time with our childREN in the birth country of our youngest! We cannot wait meet the people and learn more and more about the culture that we will incorporate into our lives here in America. We cannot wait to be together as a family of 4! wow. I have never said or written that before. mmhh. I like the way it looks. and sounds.

I just called to make our appointment with our local travel clinic. Wow, do we have a lot to talk to her about. Yellow fever. Typhoid. anti-malarials. Hep A & B. Meningitis. Tetanus. MMR.... Doesn't it make the common cold look good??

I am even excited about getting immunized because it means we are closer****Closer to our dreams coming true.

WAITLIST!

We are officially on the waitlist!! We are excited beyond belief!!!

and we wait some more!!

this approval thing is such a funny thing. yes, we just got approval from immigration. yes, we now have the official I-171h. But really, what does that mean??? it really means we wait some more:)

and then we wait some more and then realistically, we wait some more.

i would love to say by the end of this journey, we will be the most patient people in the world but that probably won't happen! i do believe that in this wait, we will learn, grow and live fuller lives because of this journey. because of all the waiting, we will be better people.... at least that is our prayer.

Expectant mother?

Last week, we were meeting A for lunch and we were trying to find a spot to park. I am ALWAYS running late. I don't like that I am and I really do try to change but it never seems to happen. So of course, A was probably already waiting and we couldn't find a spot anywhere...but then we found one right next to the elevator. As I was pulling in, I notice it had a sign marked "expectant mother"....This is a new sign, I have been to this garage for years and never noticed it. I am not sure what prompted the city to post it but I thought, "well, I am an expectant mother. Right?? I am just not carrying him/her in my belly but I AM still expecting!" So I decided to park in the designated spot. I felt a little guilty parking there because I know when they posted it, they probably had no intention of saving the spot for an soon-to-be adoptive mother. But at the same time, I felt like I should be able to park there because I am an expectant mother!

I still go back and forth on whether or not I should have parked there. At lunch, after I parked in "the spot", we were talking about it and it came up again that when they posted the sign, they meant if for expectant mothers of biological children. And honestly, that makes me sad. really sad. When will the term "expectant mother" mean more than a woman carrying her biological child? When someone mentions that someone is "expecting", when will we ask "through adoption, foster or biologically??"

When will a soon-to-be adoptive mother be know as an "expectant mother"??? I am an expectant mother. I am expecting.

Just because my son or daughter is not in my womb does not make it any less amazing, miraculous or wonderful. Just because this sweet bean was born in another country to another woman (his/her mom) doesn't make him or her any less special. This sweet bean was meant for us and no matter HOW he/she comes to us, it is OUR child just the same as o-boy

STILL CANNOT BELIEVE it!!!

APPROVAL!!!

We officially have our approval from USCIS! Thank you United States of America!!! Only two weeks after I drove down to LA to drop our home study off at our local office...thank you Officer ******!!! Our officer did say, it would be processed as soon as possible. But 10 days is AMAZING!

We really can't believe it. When we opened the letter, tears just started flowing. My husband kept assuring o-boy that they were good tears. Tears of joy! It was such a sweet moment between the three of us. One that I will never forget! We told o that this meant babyu can come home...he just kept giggling. and giggling. So precious!!

I can't even stand it! Oh my goodness. I just keep smiling.

Babyu hold tight-we are one. step. closer.

Let the fun begin...