as we come upon this Mother's Day, I can't help but think of babyu's mama. I sit here on my cozy couch in my home and I can't help but think of our child's birth mother. I have tears in my eyes as I think of what she has been through, what she has encountered, what she has experienced to get to the point she is today. I am trying to imagine how she is feeling today and honestly, I can't. I can't pretend that I know the pain she feels when she thinks about sweet babyu. How she feels when she wants to touch his skin..when she wants to kiss him goodnight...or when she just wants to watch him sleep but she can't because of certain life circumstances that has gotten her to where she is today. I can't imagine the pain. The sorrow. It has got to ache deep in her heart.
I can however, tell you that I am forever grateful for the love she has for her child. A love that is so strong that she would overlook her wants and dreams and put her child's life before her own. Love like that is amazing and inspiring but also tragic. As we get closer to meeting babyu, I have so many mixed emotions. We see it as this wonderful blessing (it is, don't get me wrong) but we also realize that our sweet one has been through the trenches to get to us. In order for us to adopt babyu, it means that somewhere along the road, his/her sweet mother and father had to make really tough choices. Choices that would tear me apart. They have had to experience a crazy deal of tragedy, pain and loss.
Adoption is a journey. A sticky, messy journey. While I am thankful for this journey we are on, it is hard. So hard because while I am happy (thrilled!) about the progress that we have made in the last month, I am also heart broken thinking about babyu's mama. Nobody should ever have to go through what she is has been through.
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God, I pray that you would wrap your arms around babyu's mama tonight. May she feel your love and peace. May she know that you are holding babyu tight until I can wrap my arms around that sweet bean.
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This just brought me to tears. You are so right, thanks for the reminder. We tend to get wrapped up in the happiness of adding another child and finding an orphan a forever family. We sometimes overlook the tragedy that has had to happen in order for us to adopt.
ReplyDeleteOh, you are so right. This is a sticky, messy journey alright. Just another proof that only the Lord could call us into such a hard mess that would bring so much glory to Him!
ReplyDeleteI thought of our sweet girl's birth mom often in the days preceding our referral. It is so hard for us even to imagine some of the horrific things these women experience.
Sara, Jill B sent me here. I appreciate that you are hurting for and praying for the birth mom. I hope it helps her that the future forever family of her baby loves her too. May god to continue to be powerfully at work in all of you.
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