dear babyu

sweet boy. i am missing you tonight. especially tonight. my body is here living life but my heart is with you. longing to tuck you in. give you kisses and loves. sing to you and rock you to sleep. i want to be there when you first wake up so that i can pick you up, hold you close and tell you how thankful i am for your life. thankful that God has created you perfectly. in His image. i want to tell you how glad i am that we will never have to leave you. we will never, ever leave. 

oh how i want to touch your fingers and toes and memorize exactly how they fit together. i want to know how your hand feels in mine and how your head feels on my shoulder. 

everyone tells me that you want to be held all. day. long. i will hold you until you don't want to be held any longer. we will come when you cry. we will sing when you are sad. we will laugh when you are happy. we will just be. it will be absolutely perfect. 

o-boy can't wait to give you kisses. he already has toys picked out to give you first. he has great plans for playing and he has a spot picked out at the dinner table. almost every night he gets out a cup, plate and spoon for you. just yesterday, he brought us a pair of shoes to wear and we told him they were too small. he looked up at us and said plain as day, "they're for babyu?!" he thinks about you often. and prays for you daily. he is ready to love on his little brother. that's you sweet babyu, you have an older brother. one who loves and adores you. he put up a picture of you by his mirror a couple of weeks ago and can't wait until you are sleeping in the crib next to him. you will love him. he is quiet and shy like you...at first. but he will warm up to you. i am sure you will warm up to him as well. it won't take long. 

we can't wait for the day when we hear you belly laugh..my heart aches to hear you laugh, say mama (i think you are saving your words for us), yell o-boy and get the biggest grin ever when daddy walks through the door after a long day at work. what will you think when you see the chickens? you don't have to be afraid. they give us eggs and really, evra only pecks rooney...not kids:)

i often wonder what you will think of the different sounds that fill our day. the phone. the music. the teapot. the timer. the neighbor's dog. the garbage truck (o-boy's favorite). some will be familiar, others will not. some will scare you, some will make you laugh. you might be surprised at how quiet it is around here...it does get noisy from time to time but you will not be living with as many other babies. for now. we will see what God has in store for us in the coming years:)

oh lovey. some day soon we will get to see you. but for now, enjoy life with all the littles and aunties because this time is irreplaceable. take in the sights and smells. we know that God has sent people to love on you in the meantime and we are so thankful...more friends are coming in a month with some goods from us. God has taken care of you thus far and He will not stop now. Be strong and courageous sweet boy. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. now and forever. 

know that we love you more today than yesterday and tomorrow, we will love you more than today. 

 we will love you forever babyu. know that always.