finding the joy.

as i sit here, typing by candlelight, trying to prepare for christmas tomorrow. ..i can't help but think about jesus' momma, mary...riding a donkey for hours, that uncomfortable think-you-are-going-pop-any-minute feeling, arriving in bethlehem so late, after a long, long journey. no room to stay. no where at all. the only thing  available is a manger. wait, really?? a manger...i can't help but feel like maybe on the outside, it wasn't the ideal situation. i am speculating here but i just can't help but think that maybe mary wasn't thrilled with the situation. having her first baby, not to mention the son of God, in a manger?? it just doesn't sound perfect...you know? 

well, here i sit, in uganda with the power out. on christmas. our families are stateside. our friends and community are stateside yet we are here. we hoped and prayed we would be home by now. not ideal. not perfect....or it certainly doesn't seem to be...

although after thinking about it again... even though not ideal, it was God's perfect plan. He did provide a place for mary to give birth. a quiet place {well besides the animals;)} to be alone with her husband and son {and the shepherds..ok..maybe not sooo quiet;)}. a sweet, sweet place for the son of God to be born. i am sure that mary was rejoicing that day she heard her precious son cry for the first time and i bet she couldn't take her eyes off of sweet, baby jesus as he slept. afterall, she was his mother. she did what she had to do...she made the most of it for her family and for her savior. she was fulfilling the plan that God had. i must believe she was bathed in peace, and i am sure she was totally in awe of her precious miracle. 

at first glance our situation is not ideal and not {our} perfect but i do believe it is His. for some reason beyond our understanding, we are still here. we are doing what we have to do. trying to make the most of it and trusting that His timing and plan is way better than ours. as andy and i wrap a few presents to put under the tree that owen and i created today {out of branches cut from a larger tree:)}. we spent time decorating the tree with about 8 ornaments and two stands of beads..oh how i love how simple everything is!!  i have been constantly reminded that it isn't about us. this season is about jesus and the sweet christmas miracle that He was and still is today. He isour christmas miracle.  we have been longing for the wrong thing.   we will get home. i know we will. when...we really don't know. what i do know, is that for now, we are in the perfect place. at just the right time. i just want more of Him. more of his love. more of his patience. more of his desires. less of me. even if it means more of uganda...

of course we miss our families. and friends. so much! but we are trying to revel in the blessing of celebrating our first christmas as a family of 5. we are celebrating what God has done in our lives this past year. ALL of our children have grown so much this year. we all have learned to love more and trust even more. our family is loud. so loud. {and sometimes too loud:)} but what a blessing it is to have 3 children comfortable enough with each other that they feel they can express themselves and voice their opinions. i can rock my babies. all 3 of them because we are under one roof. as one family. oh how i longed for this day last christmas and now that it is here...we will not let it pass without giving thanks. 

tonight we are praising god for his goodness and mercy and grace. and most of all, we are thanking him for the gift of his precious son. because way back when, he knew what was right and without a doubt, i know the same is true today. 

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** And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.** {philippians 4:7}