U.SCIS. FINALLY.

Today after too many weeks of waiting for revisions and more revisions and more, we sent off our home study to US.CIS. FINALLY. Seriously, it has been way too long since we started all of this. When we first started this whole process, I asked everyone how long it took to complete the home study. I would get answers from anywhere from 2-4 months. I thought, "oh surely, we will get it done in 2 months!" Not. the. case. Obviously. I think we officially started our home study process mid October and now it is March 23. A little over 5 months. mmmh. While I have been frustrated at times, I am so thankful that it wasn't done before A changed jobs. If it was, it would have cost us more in revisions and then to send an update to U.SCIS and to our adoption agency...well, it would have been wasted money. And while everything is getting worked out in country, it would have been even more frustrating to have approval and be waiting until certain decisions were made for adoptions in the future.

While I would have liked to have it done a few weeks ago..(we had our last interview on Feb. 7)..I am thankful it is done now. Completed! Finished!! YES!!! AND it is in the mail to USC.IS. I also sent off a packet to our adoption agency with most of the documents for our dossier today. Talk about nerves. I was a mess when I walked out of Kinkos. I am still not sure why. I think I have been waiting so long to send those packets that I was so relieved when I finally did. I felt like I could breathe. I also am super nervous that the home study will not get into the right hands since we sent in our I600a back before Christmas and did our fingerprints in Jan. I kept thinking (and still am thinking) maybe I should have sent a copy of our application and our fingerprint appt. with the home study to gaurantee they know what to do with it and where it goes. But this is their job. Right?!?! They will know what to do with it and how to process it! At least that is what I keep telling myself:)

There has been so much uncertainity lately with the country that I think I have been guarding my heart. I was still completely in it but just a little hesitant to fully believe it would actually happen. We got good news last week and it seemed too good to be true. It was. (I am being very vague on purpose, please ask me privately to elaborate because I would love too!) More paperwork is required, more people have to get involved. More time is going to have to pass. Needless to say, I haven't let myself "feel" the emotions for awhile now. Today, sending off those two packets was a way of surrendering. Surrending to God's timing and His perfect plan. I know it exists. I know we are in it. I know I have to trust more fully and hope more fully as well.

Nobody ever said adoption was going to be easy and frankly, when we started this, it seemed to good to be true. The timing, the process, everything. I do know for fact that this sweet child is so worth the fight. So worth the wait, Worth the cost. Worth the tears and the pain. and so worth the JOY!