visas expired.
everyone refused to give extensions.
talk of leaving the country.
splitting the family.
information of expired plane tickets and lost credit.
booking my mr.'s flight home.
yes, you read that right. he leaves monday. THIS monday. as in four days.
myohmy. would love a positive ruling right about now.
in all of this craziness, i have been blessed with meeting many new "friends" and being encouraged by them in new ways...blessed with the opportunity to continue walking very closely with a precious family having some troubles from stateside...blessed by seeing god work again and again to perform miracles on a daily basis..{the whole visa saga coming soon}...blessed to see gramma {a's mom} meet her sweet {new} grandchildren for the first time. in AFRICA. and seeing her experience africa. blessed by reading messages and seeing posts of people STILL praying for our family. warms my heart. and brings tears to my eyes...blessed by gift packages packed with love, from home. some packed by strangers-now-friends. blessed with being able to read a post on fb about a friend needing help and being able to respond to it because i am still in africa. so blessed.
but..
with all of that being said, i would be lying if i didn't tell you i am weary.
i am scared.
i hate that my mr. is leaving on monday.
i fear that my sweet, second born son will grieve the loss of his daddy like last time.
that the wait is almost unbearable at times. that this whole living in transition is hard. that i am tired of moving {12 times since dec. 1 not that i am counting:)}....
i wonder if we will ever get a ruling. i fear the results. i fear losing our sweet nya-girl..
as i am overwhelmed by the way i have been feeling and all the fear that is building up, i am reminded that God did not give us a spirit of
i am reminded that the Lord is fighting for us, we need only to be still. {ex. 14:14}
and that He has commanded us to be strong AND courageous. commanded us not to be afraid, discouraged..because HE {the Lord of the universe} will be with us wherever we go. always. {joshua 1:9}
as i remember these truths...the fear turns to power and strength. to love and courage.
and even though my sweet husband is leaving within a matter of days, i KNOW that i am not alone, because my God will not leave me.
You are truly one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever met! We really enjoyed meeting you and your darling children.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine the feelings you have shared but I am honoured to pray for you as the day draws near for A to leave and to keep you in my prayers afterwards. I hope that there will be those who will surround you and help you during your time remaining. Your deliverance must surely be soon!
love you friend!
Naomi
I don't have any words of wisdom to share, except to let you know that we pray for you so very often and know that you are going to come out shining when this is all over! Oh the things you are learning, even though it sucks to be in the midst of it sometimes...
ReplyDeleteI check your updates daily as we all wait in anticipation.
.tasha.
I've been reading your blog for a little while now and praying for your family. I can't begin to imagine the emotions your facing right now. We'll continue to pray God will surround you with His peace and presence in these coming days and for the grace to handle each new moment and day.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Crying out to God for you tonight. Weeping, yearning, hopeful. Lord, unite this family with your love and protection and hope.
ReplyDeleteSarah, your raw heart just continues to point to Him. You have a beautiful steadfastness.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I really have no words. This is all so crazy and hard to understand. We are praying and we'll continue to pray. I remember holding Nya in our arms one year ago and knowing she was not ours, but then knowing we were supposed to call you. He knew how this would all unfold then. It's been a crazy year. But he knows.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteDear friend,
ReplyDeleteWith a few of the details changed, I can so identify with what you are feeling right now and my heart hurts for you. I am so grateful to go before the God who promises to be MORE than enough and ask him to fill you, surprise you, spoil you, even in the midst of all this unknown and frustration. Just think, at this time last year you didn't even know about NyNy, but Jesus had her life planned perfectly, bringing her family in at just the right time. He is still just as involved in her life as he was then...yours too. I love you! mj
Thank you for your honest post, so blessed by your heart! Praying for your weekend with A & the kids. Praying even more that you hear something TODAY!!!
ReplyDeleteI have read your blog for about a month now and my heart truly goes to you and your family. I wish there was something I could do to help and to make sure your sweet babies all go home with you...and soon
ReplyDelete